I’m quitting my job!!! I still can’t believe I’m doing this. I put my notice in yesterday. I had the resignation letter written and sitting in my inbox for weeks. I just sat on it, prayed over it, talked about it a lot with my husband and close friends until I was sure I was really ready to take this jump. I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time but I’ve been scared. Really scared. Now that I’ve sent the letter out and my boss responded giving me so much love, encouragement, and support, I feel a sense of peace and excitement. I’m still really nervous because the consistent paycheck will be gone soon and that scares me a lot. But, at the same time, I know my family and I will be just fine. I know God is in control and He will provide for our needs. Quitting my job is me taking a leap of faith. As scary as it is, I just keep reminding myself of a line in my artist prayer, “I trust God and He is safe to follow”. The dreams that I am pursuing He gave me and I know essentially I have nothing to fear. I don’t know if this peace and excitement I’m feeling will disappear in a couple weeks on my last day when I walk out of that door, but right now I’m excited and I’ve already started implementing the plans I’ve made to prepare for this moment. In a couple weeks, I’m going to be my own boss!! I’m super excited and scared as F*&k!! But, here we go!

Shalieah G.

I came across this video today on Twitter and I want to share it because it was just the confirmation and encouragement I needed. It gave me a sense of, ” yes, I’m totally headed in the right direction.”

 

Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how. The moment you know how, you begin to die a little. The artist never entirely knows. We guess. We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark. -Agnes De Mille

Trust that still small voice that says, “This might work and I’ll try it.” -Diane Mariechild

6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6-7

 

No one:

Me: maybe I should rethink this

also Me:

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Have you ever quit your job? Were you scared? Did you have a plan? Did it work out? Was it hard? I have so many questions. I WOULD LOVE TO CHAT BELOW!

Dear Lord,
I come to you this day with a heart of thanks.
Thank you for this day, for another opportunity to create,
be creative, and be the artist you designed me to be.
Today, I ask that you would touch my heart and mind,
taking away all fear that stands in the way of me honoring
and worshiping you creatively, artistically, and authentically.
Help me to not look to the left or to the right and become bogged
down by other peoples expectations, opinions, and negative thoughts of me.
But, let my eyes look directly forward, and my gaze be straight before you.
Help me look solely to you as my source for approval.
And, give me the courage I need to be completely and totally me.
Help me to remember that my identity is rooted in you and you alone.
Help me not to get off course by comparing myself to others.
You have given me my own unique journey and path to walk.
Help me to walk that path purposefully, authentically, courageously, boldly, and obediently.
Help me to remember that I am just an instrument and your creativity flows through me.
Help me to remember you are enough.
Lord, I ask that you have your way with me artistically and creatively.
Help me to fully let go, fully trust you, and to fully get out of your way.
I trust you to lead me and I trust that it is safe to follow you.
I desire to heal, love and inspire through my art.
I ask that you would bless my work and humble me as I do it.
I pray that you are seen through my work and that it is a blessing to those who come into contact with it.
Lord, thank you for art. Thank you for creativity. Thank you for beauty.
Thank you for my gifts. Thank you for my talents. Thank you for my skills.
Thank you for enabling me. And, thank you for allowing me.
May everything I do artistically and creatively be an act of worship to you always.
I pray and ask all this in Jesus’ name.
Amen.

Shalieah G.

I haven’t written anything in months. Well, not on here anyway. Actually, I haven’t shared any writings online anywhere. I disabled my Instagram and facebook so that I could go within and figure some things out. I figured the fewer distractions I had the better off I’d be. I’ve only been spending time writing in my personal journal.  As I’m writing this I’m kinda at a lost for words even though I strongly felt the desire to write and share. I guess it’s because I don’t really know where to start. It’s almost like I don’t even really know what to say.  I’ve been feeling a whirlwind of emotions lately and as I’m writing this I’m trying to gather myself because I suddenly feel a rush coming on. I’m sad that I haven’t been able to share and be in the creative flow I so badly want to be in. But, I know it’s important that I take time to care for myself, which is exactly what I’m doing. And, that takes lead over everything else. This is the first online journal entry I’ve written in years and I’m finding it difficult to let go and be vulnerable. Okay, we’re getting somewhere. I’m feeling fearful. This is why I’m at a lost for words. I want to write and share but it’s like I have stage fright and I”m suddenly lost for words. Ah, now it’s starting to make sense to me. This is actually the struggle I’m dealing with in my life right now. Fear. This is why I stepped away from social media and my blog so that I could face them. I’ve been running from things that are dear to my heart for many years and I’m at a point in my life where enough is enough. I’m tired. No, I’m exhausted. Extremely exhausted.  Mentally, emotionally, and physically. And, it’s starting to way on me spiritually.

I shared everything I’m going through with a good friend of mine and she recommended I read, The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. As I’m writing this I am currently on week five of the book. And, I’m loving it! It’s a twelve-week long study full of exercises and explorations that take you on quite a journey. As part of this study, I write three pages every morning in my journal and I go on an artist date with myself once a week. I feel like I’m getting to know myself all over again. I’ve been discovering…actually, I should say rediscovering things about myself I total forgot about. I’ve been painting, drawing, skating, hiking, dancing, listening to music VERY LOUDLY, watching shows and movies (I haven’t done this in years), writing, making videos, and going to counseling once, sometimes twice, a month.  I’ve been documenting my growth on Youtube because allowing myself to be SEEN creatively and artistically is where I struggle the most. So this is where I have chosen to focus my time, attention, and energy the most right now.

I’ve never said this out loud until today, but I aspire to be an actress and artist. I no longer want to play it safe. I want to go after my dreams. So that’s what I’m doing and I’m doing it publicly.

I know I don’t have much of a following here but I am thankful to all of you who have chosen to follow my blog. Thank you. And, I apologize I haven’t posted in a while. Forgive me. I’m just busy these days trying to face my fears, grow as an artist and go after my dreams. So I’m taking the steps necessary to accomplish those goals. Thank you for continuing to support me and my blog. I do plan to post more regularly but it will be mostly in the form of videos and journal entries. I’m on a journey right now. I don’t know exactly how I’m going to get where I’m heading, but I do know I’m heading in the right direction.

If you’d see what I’m up to these days, check out some of my videos. I’d surely appreciate and love any support and feedback that comes from your kind hearts.

Thank You,

Shalieah G.